Manifest

Shipping contents:

1 (one) blogger
- Male, late 30s, living in South West London
- Atheist, and opinionated about Britain's antediluvian system of religious schools
- Cyclist, oftentimes with one or more offspring on board
- Psychologist by training, if not practice

1 (one) spouse
- Female
- Secular humanist (which apparently is legally more equal than atheist)

1 (one) son
- Male
- 4 going on 17
- Still disappointed that there isn't school at weekends
- Specialist subjects: Pixar, Disney, Doctor Who, Ben 10, Crazy Hair
- Made entirely of elbows

1 (one) daughter
- Female
- 19 months
- Experimental Philologist: Fluent in an obscure language known only to one other child. Systematically testing the boundaries of English
- Specialist subjects: Food, The Application of Biro to All Known Surfaces, Different Ways to Pronounce the Word "No"
- Attends nursery. May believe she teaches nursery.

Two (two) Power Supplies
- For installation in Son and Daughter units
- Marketing blurb: New! An inexhaustible source of energy (TM) for your little darlings
- IMPORTANT NOTICE: Not suitable for adults. Unfortunately.
- Technical Specification (M): Requires one of each design of sock in your house (not supplied). Supplies limitless noise, expense, broken things and general untidiness. May open a permanent wormhole to a dimension where entropy is much higher.
- Technical Specification (F): Magical portal to the home of the Gods of Order. Requires regular sacrifices of food (not supplied. Rice pudding preferred). Generates structure and routine even when you want a lie in. NOTE: May result in large quantities of instructions.

Seventeen (17) Spare Elbows
- In case you run out.